The Time Has Come!

Discussions of life and such from lifelong friends. And such.

Episode 056: How to Save a Life

In which Josh and Keith catch up over the few podcast-less weeks. Keith declares a death-feud on Josh for his dismissal of the talents of John C. Riley.

Learn about the best restaurant encounter EVER; there has been Godzilla vs. Mecha-Godzilla, there has been Cain vs. Abel, there has Freddy vs. Jason. Now there is Ayash vs. Vige.

A giving of gifts and a tale of moral instruction by way of sibling blood sacrifice.  The time has come!

Episode 055: Photographic Memories

The press of a finger, the flash of a light, and we have conquered Time itself; frozen it in its never-ending motion and transformed it from a fluid verb into a concrete noun: a photograph.

Josh and Keith talk about pictures and their taking, what it can and can’t mean, and definitely what it SHOULDN’T be about.

In this episode: Farting Karate. Orangutan Bob almost has a human moment. Keith’s terrible “celebration dinner” after a bad photo op. Magic and wonder! Listen in.

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Episode 054: Fame and Fortune. And Pens.

What makes Keith Field tick, you ask? Then you ask the wrong question. The proper question is what makes Keith Field TAP. And the answer is a pen. A special kind of pen. A TAPPY PEN.

Learn its dread origin, understand its purpose, fear its power.

Then Josh and Keith discuss fame and celebrity, and why feels important to know people who other people know. All this and much more.

 

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Episode 053: Brand Loyal

Begin year two! The grand and (probably ultimately tragic) saga of TRUCK ZOO continues on apace, and is filled with backstabbing, betrayal and internecine warfare among its ruling cabal. Which is, we guess, as it should be.

In this episode, Josh and Keith discuss the oddness that is loyalty to a “brand,” and how ideas of identity and such are crafted from it. Which is mostly an excuse to talk about Nintendo, Hostess, Marvel and DC, and Jell-O. Which they do.

Delight in the tales of a young Keith at a Star Trek Convention in both the distant past and recent present, and of a long-ago brand-loyalty enforcement by way of an evil teacher Josh suffered under as a small child.

The time has come!

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Episode 052: Happy Anniversary, Happy Anniversary!

The Time Has Come is a year old! Much like a baby, we’re often cranky and the the contents of our pants are questionable.

In this celebratory milestone episode: TRUCK ZOO keeps rolling. (Now with more Spanish-Speaking Wizards.)  Fireworks and Keith’s history as a pyromancer. Twilight Zone marathons. The bittersweet beauty of passing eras, along with ill-advised tattoos.

And a harrowing tale of a nightmare bridge. All this and so much more; Happy anniversary to us and you!

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Episode 051: Superman? More Like Pooperman.

Look, up in the sky! It’s a bird! It’s a plane! It’s a joyless a-hole who is going to crash into your building, seemingly unaware or unconcerned with your safety, or the countless thousands around you!

The Man of Steel movie disappoints a crest-fallen Josh, who must eat humble pie… and, at some point, due to the lost wager, the grey-beef slop of Hometown Buffet. Keith’s box-office predictions and sooth-saying remain spitefully accurate.

Also! Happenings in the world of TRUCK ZOO.  Now, in the sober light of day, Keith makes a hostile takeover of the Truck Zoo intellectual property. Emphasis on hostile. And also, takeover.

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BONUS CONTENT: Father’s Day At the Mark Twain House

Father’s Day, June 16, 2013, I got a chance to speak at a story-telling event at the Mark Twain House and Museum in Hartford, put on by NPR’s Chion Wolf and featuring Colin McEnroe, of the Colin McEnroe Show.

I got to stand in front of an audience and tell them a Joel Dobbin story. Here is my portion of the event, where I got to talk about what it was to have Joel Dobbin as a father.

I hope you enjoy it, and if you knew him, I hope it brings him back for a moment to you and if you did not, I hope it puts the idea of him in your head and you begin to understand what it might have been to have known and loved him.

I most certainly did, and still do.

-Josh 

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Episode 050: Say It Ain’t So, Joe

“A hero ain’t nothing but a sandwich.” At least so says the title of a 1973 book about heroin in the ghetto. In this episode, there are no heroes to be found in sandwich shops. Only lies.

Find out that it’s all happening at the zoo; at the zoo, at the zoo. But what kind of zoo, you ask? Oh. You will find out.

This week’s episode was recorded late at night, so it is shorter than most, but as an added bonus, it features the full version of our “outro” song: I Am The Man by The Red Zoids,  fronted by friend-of-the-podcast, gentleman, scholar, wizard and scoundrel Jimi Odell.

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Episode 049: Mysteries of the Unknown!

Ancient and powerful secrets, hidden from view by Secret Chiefs; wheels which spin within wheels: mysterious cabals of Illuminated Seers, creatures or entities from beyond space or time. Psychic phenomenon, remote vision, telekinesis, and the persistence of ectoplasmic energy in the material plane….

All a bunch of hooey, most likely. But it does not stop Josh or Keith from talking about it. Along the way: Misheard song lyrics, urine-soaked pants and water-slides, and the real-life PSYCHIC HIT declared on a 3 year old Josh Dobbin’s very life in the 1970s by the famous hoaxter/grifter couple Ed and Lorraine Warren.

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Episode 048: For the Love of Crap

There’s some pleasures that are guilty and some you don’t even bother apologizing for. Josh and Keith explore the world of crap they know is crap, but have loved through the ages.

ALSO (and perhaps more importantly): Learn the secret of the most powerful snacking acronym ever: TWC. Your life *will* change upon unlocking its power.  And the boys introduce you to  a new and fun game for you to play when alone in your car or shopping.

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Episode 047: Babycakes and the 600 Pound Crush

Spring! When a young man’s fancy turns to love. Only it usually isn’t really love, but the fairy-gold version of it: The crush. The everywhere-ache of heart and gut that leaves one breathless and frazzled.

Josh and Keith talk about what is is to be crushed in such a fashion: Cartoon crushes from childhood, TV crushes, real-life schoolyard ones and beyond.

Learn of the mannish schoolmarm teacher who won a young Keith Field’s heart by her Tolkien posters. Josh’s free-giveaway phone fiasco and how it nearly undid him. The lengths to which young boys go for no reason when in dread service to the whims of the crush! All this and more. Crazy Grandma-Field stories of racism and sumo, too.

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Episode 046: The Games People Play

Shall we play a game?” intoned the robotic 1980s computer-generated JOSHUA computer voice to a zitty young and innocent Matthew Broderick who had yet to be seduced by the horse-faced Sarah Jessica Parker.  That conversation nearly destroyed the world in a rain of nuclear fire.

So too with this one.

Josh and Keith talk about games and the playing of games; of what games mean and what games meant. Board games and the ritual of gathering they entail: Dare you learn the dread secret of the Inscrutable Mr. Hat(TM), The World’s Most Notorious And Mysterious Man? (Hint: It involves Keith cheating shamelessly at MONOPOLY) Find out how a young Josh invented both the cause and cure for OCD over one too many games of PERFECTION.  The hidden-mini-game of managing Keith’s unstable  cousin during family board game sessions… Keith’s broken compact with Old Scratch, and how Josh has misremembered Philip-K.-Dick-False-memory-style the key player of a story for over 25 years.

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Episode 045: Robots and Spacemen

“I like to read books about ROBOTS and SPACEMEN!” is something an enthusiastic young boy might exclaim.  Keith would most likely hit that child.

This episode is all about sci-fi heresies; stuff you’d expect Josh and Keith to love, but will be SHOCKED AND AMAZED that they don’t.  Find out Keith’s loathing for all things STAR TREK, Josh’s loathing for all things STAR TREK post 1969, Keith’s inhuman loathing for the humanity of E.T. and much, much more.

Also in this episode: The weird lies of Cage-Head through the years, the suicide of TV game show host Ray Combs and the strange and terrible connection he, Meatloaf and Gary Collins have with the Field/Brown/Raimondi fusion household.

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Episode 044: Man Vs. Nature

The epic struggle and eternal conflict. Will and intention versus the implacable and unstoppable press of the world and life in its non-human forms.

In this episode: Josh is humbled by a mountain that he cannot tame. And a hat he should not wear. Keith’s lunatic grandmother attempts to tame the wild using mad potions, poisons and a Blair-Witch-style series of rock walls. Keith’s cute rivalry with a bat, and Josh’s shameful and gruesome one.  The premium put on “playing outside” and how it vexed a young Keith Field and caused him many anxious moments. The return of Speech-Impediment-Timmy.

Kiddie pools and  rampaging horses await your ears.

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Podcast 043: Roommate. Room Hate.

Laverne and Shirley, Kip and Henry, Lenny and Squiggy. They all lied to us from the TV screen. Roommate situations don’t always create true and lasting bonds of camaraderie and friendship to stand the test of the ages and teach us all a little something about life and love.

Sometimes, they just end in stewing pots of resentment and create pockets of pus-filled rage in the skin of our lives, waiting to be lanced and erupt their foul ichor onto whomever squeezes too hard on the memory.  Learn of secrets of a girl Keith refers only to as “Chainmail Coif,” and how her sound of distress can still summon righteous rage in him so many years later. Find out about the dirty business of Josh’s football playing roommates and their very gay obsession with not being gay, by doing very gay things with one another.

But most of all, find out about the arrogant Israeli who condescended to EVERYONE (but especially Keith) and stole Keith’s porn.

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Episode 042: Thumbs Up For Ebert

The world is more interesting and a better place for having had Roger Ebert, his voice and identity in it and a little less wonderful for losing the same. This episode, Josh and Keith look back at “At The Movies” as a character in their lives, and how an ongoing “relationship” with Roger Ebert over the course of a lifetime informed them on issues of art, humanity, friendship, purpose and perspective.

But not before Keith explains how he made a Red Robin restaurant even REDDER with copious amounts of his own blood, the sleep-deprived and chemically induced visions he had of golden feces and Josh unveils his not-quite-ready for prime time impression of handsome actor John Hamm.

Thumbs up (and fists sheltered) for this, our Ebert tribute.

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Episode 041: Ha ha! Joke’s On You!

April, T.S. Elliot wrote, is the cruelest month.  Fitting then that this, our April Fool’s themed show, is the cruelest podcast. Learn of the kind of grim April Showers that Keith once visited upon an unsuspecting workmate.  Witness an airing of grievances over 20 years in the making! Josh is still relatively certain that Keith has invented the closing details and crafted, in essence, a false Philip K. Dick style memory of it. Keith begs to differ and will, if presented with the opportunity, gut-shoot any and all that says different. Satanic rituals for fun and profit (or at least, just to get the Jehovah’s Witness to LEAVE).

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Episode 040: Changing Seasons- A Look Back

The Time Has Come turns 40…episodes long. Winter gives way to spring and Josh and Keith look back at a season’s full of episodes and explore the topics of the last few months for stories we didn’t get around to telling.

In this episode: Church ladies vs. Keith’s foam rubber vegetables. Learn the secret origin of the dial-up internet’s very first “Catfish.” The never-ending game of GAUNTLET that won back Keith’s honor from a kid who beat him up.  Josh and Keith’s magical video store, and History’s Greatest Villain: a long ago boy named Tony. The snowy day when all of America mourned the Space Shuttle– all save two little boys who would grow up to be podcasters. Josh’s incomprehensible rival and the time Keith kicked a strange child in the ass in a toy store.  And much, much more. BABIES AND TURTLES.

A lot of ground is covered and recovered in this, the 40th episode of THE TIME HAS COME.

To listen in your browser, click the Play triangle or choose “play in pop-up.” If you have iTunes installed on your computer, you can always subscribe (for free) by clicking the purple iTunes button to the right. If you have an RSS reader (Google Reader, etc.) you can subscribe (for free) by clicking the Audio Mp3 rectangle to the right.